Jane of Fire Read online

  “What?”

  “He is quite well off. He doesn’t have any children of his own. He has set up a bank account in your name, with regular deposits to cover your various expenses. You will have to leave Huntington. He wouldn’t have forced this condition, but Ms. Brocklehurst here, representing the organization that completely lost track of you, is demanding you be in the care of an adult. They don’t want you to be unsupervised.”

  “What?” I asked again stupidly.

  The attorney handed me a thick manila envelope. “All the details are in here.”

  “We did not lose track of her!” Ms. Brocklehurst protested. Her pale face turned bright red with anger. “She was in the care of a foster mother. We had documentation showing she was being properly cared for. How were we supposed to know that your client was a liar and a delinquent?”

  Mr. Crumbly turned on Ms. Brocklehurst. He was fierce when he got angry. “You didn’t lose her? You had no idea where she was. When Mrs. Blankenship, died, you didn’t even know she was no longer residing there. You wanted to treat her like a run-away instead of an honor student with a full scholarship to a prestigious university. She is no delinquent and her uncle wants to make it clear that you are not to refer to her in this way. I would also note, Ms. Brocklehurst, that we are considering launching a lawsuit against the state, along with possible criminal charges. We have evidence showing that Jane was placed in a foster home, at the tender age of five, with a pedophile that caused the death one of the other children in his care. If that isn’t a neglectful system, I don’t know what is.”

  “That was an unfortunate circumstance and we had no way of knowing he was a pedophile. He was screened and passed several psychological evaluations prior to becoming a foster parent.”

  “Stop!” I yelled. “Are you kidding me? You two are taking me out of school? I am going on a trip to Haiti in two weeks. What about that??” I was standing up now and shaking. I had come too far, and I had worked too hard, to quit. “This has to be a joke!”

  “I assure you, this is no joke,” Ms. Brocklehurst exclaimed. “You need proper adult supervision. You are a minor. You are changing schools and there is no way you are leaving the country.”

  “I can’t leave school!” I yelled. “I’m studying pre-med, I can’t—”

  Ms. Brocklehurst interrupted. “You will not be leaving school, but things are definitely going to change for you, young lady!”

  “The state expressed concern at your recent living arrangements and your lack of guidance with a guardian,” Crumbly interjected. “You have to live with your uncle. And don’t worry about your education, you will be attending a fine university in New York. You won’t lose any of your credits.”

  “How can all of this have happened without me even knowing? I should have been notified!” I glared at both of them. “How could you do this without my permission! You don’t even know me!”

  Ms. Brocklehurst cleared her throat. “I wanted to come for you two weeks ago, but Mr. Crumbly, here, took us to court and argued that you needed to finish school.”

  “Well, thanks for that, at least,” I grumbled.

  Crumbly nodded. “You are lucky, Jane. CPS wanted to have you reassigned to inpatient care. They were reviewing your case, for immediate relocation. You were a minor, living with an adult male, who has been charged with murder. They could have put you in a group home. It was only because of our intervention that this didn’t happen.”

  My mouth hung open. I couldn’t find anything to say.

  “We will give you one week to get your affairs in order and pack your things. After that week is up, we will escort you to New York City, where you will take up residence with your Uncle Cerrus. I will also monitor you regularly and provide you with a monthly allowance until you come of age. Your allowance will be $5,000 a month. I trust that will be sufficient?”

  My mouth dropped open.

  Mr. Crumbly evidently took that as a “yes” and continued. “Your uncle has also provided you with a $25,000 check to cover any relocation expenses such as the shipping of your belongings.”

  I didn’t think I could spend that much money in a year let alone spend it on shipping what few possessions I owned. “Will I get to meet my Uncle Cerrus?” I finally asked. “It seems kind of ironic that I’m in trouble for living with an adult male and I’m being forced to move in with another adult male, whom I’ve never met. How do you know he’s even my uncle?”

  Mr. Crumbly smiled. “I promise you that this woman,” he signaled to Ms. Brocklehurst, “and her department have put Mr. Blackbriar through every hoop imaginable. He has been approved for adoption. Mr. Blackbriar is a wealthy man, who made his fortune managing a hedge fund, retired young, and now travels the world finding unique artifacts for wealthy collectors. And you may appreciate that he is a collector, himself, of rare books and antiquities. I can assure you, Jane, you will be happier than you’ve ever been, living with your uncle.”

  “I haven’t even met him,” I said softly.

  “He will meet with you after you arrive in New York.”

  “I need more than a week to get my school stuff together. It isn’t easy to transfer.”

  “We have arranged for you to transfer to Barnard College, in New York. Everything has been taken care of.”

  Mr. Crumbly was efficient, I’d give him that.

  He handed me another thick envelope. I opened it and leafed through it. All the legal documents were in the envelope. There was a check written out to me. There was the address of my new home and all the contact information for everyone involved in my case, including Ms. Brocklehurst. It was all so official and final. I had no choice in any of this. It was overwhelming, to say the least, but then, my life had been one big roller coaster ride the past year.

  Mr. Crumbly and Ms. Brocklehurst left without saying much more and I went to the bank to deposit the check. I stood there staring at the teller and it was when I got the deposit slip in my hand that it really hit me. I had money. I had real money and I had people looking out for me. There were people I could call for help if I was hungry or cold or homeless. I would never have to worry, again. I stared into the teller’s eyes and laughed. I laughed like a crazy person. The teller must have thought I was as mad as a hatter, but she only smiled.

  It was all starting to sink in. I vowed to myself I wouldn’t live any differently. I wouldn’t tell anyone about my change in finances. I would keep my budget slim and save the money for school and for my future. But it was like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I wouldn’t have to scramble for part-time jobs. I could devote myself completely to my studies and not have to live on mac and cheese and cans of tomato soup like I did when I was in high school.

  I decided not to tell anyone about my leaving. I pretended it wasn’t happening and just let life go on like it always had. I figured Sinjun was leaving for Vanderbilt, and the girls were already looking for a more affordable apartment, so they would be more relieved than stressed by my news. I would be sad when I had to say goodbye. I had grown really close to them all, and they had supported me through everything.

  Chapter 21

  Something wicked this way comes.

  ~ William Shakespeare

  The day before I left, I asked Sinjun to go out with me to the old cemetery behind the Biology building. The sun shone over the tombstones making them glow with an otherworldly light. It reminded me of Thornfield. The cemetery felt full old ghosts and lost souls. I missed my ghosts. I missed all my ghosts. I still hadn’t told Sinjun and Mary and Sara about my having to leave. I was having trouble finding the words to tell them I couldn’t go to Haiti and I couldn’t stay with them.

  “I’ll be leaving for Vanderbilt after we get back from Haiti,” Sinjun said into the awkward silence.

  “I know,” I said with a sad smile. “I’m going to miss you.”

  At this, Sinj
un grabbed me and pulled me to him. I was too stunned to react. I just looked up into his eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. “I am so glad to hear you say that,” he said. “I have had feelings for you for so long, I didn’t want to say anything. I wanted to give you time to recover, but I can’t think of going anywhere without you. When you asked me out on this date, it was the best day of my life.”

  I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had no idea Sinjun had felt this way about me. I was stunned.

  “I’ve thought a lot about it and you could transfer with me next semester. We could get a place together and I would take care of you. You wouldn’t have to worry about money. It would be okay. Edward could never find you. I love you.”

  Sinjun leaned down to kiss me and I pushed him away. I couldn’t kiss him. I was Edward’s. The look on Sinjun’s face was crushing. He looked like I had punched him.

  “I’m sorry Sinjun,” I whispered. “I just can’t.”

  “Why? Why can’t you?” he demanded. “Why did you even ask me out if you weren’t interested in me?”

  “I didn’t think this was a date! I just needed to tell you something important. I am sorry if I misled you, but I can’t date anyone.”

  “Because of him?” he demanded. “Because of that criminal, who murdered his girlfriend and set her on fire? You can’t still love him? Not after everything he did? Jane, you are broken!”

  The wind whispered through the gravestones and the clouds shifted and eclipsed the sun. The skull on the tombstone next to me stared up at me with its empty eyes.

  “I’m not broken. And that’s a terrible thing to say.”

  “I love you.” He grabbed me by my shoulders. “We’ve been friends for almost a year and I’ve loved you that entire time. I know that jerk broke your heart. I can see it in your eyes, but I know that if you come with me you’ll learn to love me.” His eyes were staring into mine with such intensity, it scared me. “We have so much in common, Jane. We have the same calling in life. We can travel the world together and work with Doctors Without Borders and really make a difference in the world. You are the only girl I have ever met with the same drive and passion I have.”

  I shrugged off his hands and stepped back. “There is more to me than hard work and a desire to make a difference.”

  “No, I see that in your eyes. I see what you are. You are good and strong and that man led you astray. But I know the right man can put you back on the right path. You’re a good person. You have your entire life ahead of you.”

  I backed away even farther. The wind howled. It shrieked. “I am not who you think I am. I loved Edward because his soul and mine were alike. I have ghosts in my past. Darkness that you can never begin to understand. I have a calling, yes, but I also want passion and love in my life. I have seen too many people settle and I just won’t accept that fate for myself.”

  Sinjun looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. The wind swirled and howled around us. A look of pain crossed his face, then his lips compressed into a thin, tight line. “I thought you were different.” His eyes were cold. “But you’re just a silly little girl.”

  The wind cried out again and I turned away from him. I could hear a howling from far away. I could hear it calling my name. It grew louder, echoing all around me. It was Edward.

  “Jane,” the voice called. “Jane! Come back to me.”

  A gust of wind whipped my hair around my face, I turned into it. Letting it surround me, embrace me. “I’m coming!” I answered.

  “Edward! I’m coming.”

  Sinjun grabbed me and pulled me away from the wind and out of my trance. “Have you lost your mind?” he demanded.

  I smiled. “I did lose my mind.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry Sinjun, but I should never have left Edward. It was crazy to leave him when he needed me most. I’m going to find him before I lose my chance at true happiness.”

  Chapter 22

  I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space.

  ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  It was well past dark when I got back to the apartment. The moon was high in the sky and the night air was cool, despite the fact that it was May. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t rest. I went to my little room in the apartment and spent some time getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup. I wanted to look nice. I wanted to look the way Edward always made me feel. I wanted to be beautiful. I became aware that I wasn’t even sure if Edward was still living at Thornfield. I had avoided the news for so long that I had no idea what had happened to him. He could be in prison. He could be in New York. He could have fled to France and be hiding in some country estate of his family’s to avoid extradition, for all I knew.

  The tears began to flow. They bubbled up and poured down my cheeks in an unstoppable current. There would be no sleep for me. I walked out into the cool night air with a purpose. I got into my trusty old Jeep and started driving. I may not know where Edward was, but I knew where Thornfield was. Mrs. Fairfax had to know how to find him. I set out toward the estate with a fixed purpose. I wiped my tears away and kept driving until I saw the towering spires of the only place I had ever felt at home.

  As I caught my first glimpse of the old manor, my heart dropped like a rock. My breath left my chest and I felt like I might suffocate under the weight of my own overwhelming emotions. I drove up to the gate and got out. I opened it and continued on, hoping that what stood before me was a mirage, built by my sleep-deprived mind. The closer I got to Thornfield, the more I knew what I was seeing was real.

  The house was still standing, in places. The façade still faced out, with its bleak and gothic beauty, but the roof was gone and the stone walls were charred. The windows were shattered and the doors had been burnt away. I parked a few yards away, got out, and walked slowly toward the entrance. The smell of smoke and cinder still lingered in the air. The front door had been ripped from the hinges, so I didn’t need a key. I stepped inside and walked into the foyer. The walls were charred and blackened. Most of the furniture and old paintings were smothered by what was left of the roof. The once beautiful staircase led up to nothing.

  I placed my hand over my mouth and sank to my knees. I think I would have sat there forever if it weren’t for the light that made me turn. I saw her in the darkness. She was there, as she had always been there. Liliana. She placed a spectral hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t feel it. I wasn’t even sure if what I was seeing was real. I wondered if I hadn’t slipped into madness.

  “He is alive,” Liliana said softly.

  “What?” I asked quietly.

  “My lord wouldn’t let him die. He still needs him…and you.” She seemed so sad.

  “What happened here?” I had started to sob. I was insane. I knew I had to be. I was lying in the dirt talking to a ghost.

  “The house caught on fire. It was Bertha.”

  “So, Edward did murder her?”

  Liliana smiled. “No, my dear, he did not. She stabbed him and he fought back. She wouldn’t stop and they struggled. He stabbed at her three times before she finally quieted. Then, when he sat back, crying in agony, she kicked him down the stairs. She set herself on fire and leapt through the window. She wanted him dead.”

  “Why did she do that?”

  Lilliana laughed. “The curse drove her insane.”

  “Where is he now?” I asked.

  “He’s in New York. He was kicked out of Yale. But they dropped the charges. Mrs. Fairfax had witnessed everything and testified on his behalf in court.”

  “Are you real? How do you know all this if you are a ghost?”

  “Am I a ghost?” she asked as if she was confused. “I think I am still in hell and you are here to torture me. You are here to remind me of my sins, beautiful Jane. I know this because my lord wants me to know this. He wants me to see a
ll that I have set into motion. He wants me to see you. He is coming for you.”

  My lips went numb and my heartbeat slowed. The blood drained from my face. “What?” I asked stupidly.

  “Time is a strange thing. In the Shadowlands, it flows back and forth. I forget when and where I am, but I know you, daughter. Your father has a job for you.”

  “You are crazy, or maybe I am crazy. I am talking to a dead woman. I am probably crazy.”

  “Maybe,” she said with a gentle smile. “Maybe everything I said is a lie. Maybe we are both insane or, maybe, the thing that was written on you when they found you in that hospital is true. Maybe love is the key. Go find your Edward. See if you can still love him now that he has been altered.” Her smile wasn’t sweet anymore. It was cruel.

  “Altered?”

  “He was in the house when it burned down. He had brought his grandmother back home to live with him. He tried to save her and was pinned in the fire. Miss Adele died and he was injured. The flesh is so easily peeled away. Beauty, so easily destroyed.”

  My heart was breaking. Miss Adele had died in the fire. And Edward was injured and scarred. He was good. He wasn’t evil. He was good and brave, and I hated myself for not believing him.

  I stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes. “I don’t care.”

  Liliana scowled. “We will see. I once loved a man like that, but it was not meant to be.” There were flames in her dark eyes. “Love is like a fire that destroys all it touches. It will consume you, too.”

  “It wouldn’t matter,” I answered. “Let it burn me. I don’t care.”

  Liliana faded. She was only a whisper of light. “You think this is the end. You think the Devil died in this fire, but this is only the beginning. He will come for you. He always comes for what is his.”

  The phantom faded and the light went with her. I looked up and saw the red lady, Bertha, staring down at me from the stairs. The house was hers now. It belonged to her, alone. She laughed at me from her shadowy perch and then vanished. I was left standing alone, in the dark, covered in soot, and praying that everything Liliana had said was madness.