The Monster Hunter's Manual Read online

  “I don’t like Madame Perrine,” he said.

  “She wanted me to ask you some questions.”

  “Tell that old bag to get lost,” he said. “I got nothing to say to her or any of her family.”

  “Please, sir,” I persisted.

  He relented. “What questions?”

  “Where do you come from?” I said.

  “None of your business.”

  “What’s most important to you?”

  “My privacy, now get lost.”

  He slammed the door in our faces, and Alex and I were left with our mouths hanging open.

  “Should we knock again? “Alex asked.

  I knocked again.

  “Go away!”a voice called from behind the door. “I have a shot gun and I’ll fill your back ends with lead if you don’t clear off.”

  That was all it took. Alex and I ran back to the road as fast as we could. We scampered down the road like children that had just gotten into some kind of trouble and didn’t want to be caught. It was dark by the time we made it back to the village. Everything was quiet and our muddy, sneakers squeaked on the cobblestone road. As we walked back to the castle, I tried to think of what I had learned from the farmer and the troll. I tried to put together some story that I could tell Aunt Perrine to make her think I would be the perfect monster hunter.

  The only thing I had learned was that Alex was all I had left. He had helped me at every turn. I put my hand on Alex’s shoulder as we walked down the road.

  “Thank you for all your help,” I said.

  Alex shrugged and smiled. “That’s what brother’s do. We stand by each other, right?”

  “Right,” I said.

  Aunt Perrine was nowhere to be found when we returned. She had left dinner out for us on the table, but we couldn’t find her.

  “Look,” Alex said and he pointed upward to Eleanor’s window. It was lit. “She could be up there.”

  I followed Alex’s lead and together we walked up the long dark stairs to Eleanor’s little room. We stumbled a little and bumped into each other. We felt our way up through the darkness until we could peek around the corner and see into Eleanor’s room.

  The room looked like it had looked in Eleanor’s vision. It was pretty and warm. Eleanor was sitting on her bed holding a stuffed bear and Aunt Perrine was sitting next to her. But it wasn’t our Aunt Perrine. She had Aunt Perrine’s eyes and Aunt Perrine’s face, but in the prism of that room, Aunt Perrine was young. She was young and Eleanor was her daughter, her baby girl, and that is why Eleanor had never stopped waiting for her mother. Her mother had never died. Aunt Perrine held Eleanor in her arms and sang to her, songs so sweet they could have put a dragon to sleep.

  I pushed my finger to my lips and Alex saw that we should leave. The two of us crept quietly back down the stairs and across the courtyard. We showered and ate our dinner, when we were done, we went into the living room. Aunt Perrine was sitting by the lamp, knitting. She was wearing her usual layer of sweaters and knitted hats. She was old again.

  We went and sat down next to her. She didn’t stop her knitting or look up at us. She only asked the simple question.

  “So? What did you learn?” she asked.

  I hesitated and looked at Alex. “I learned a lot,” I said. “I learned that trolls can be kinder than people and that people can be more dangerous than zombies. I learned that trolls love the earth and their families, but mostly I learned that I couldn’t have learned anything without Alex and that I can’t be a monster hunter unless my brother is one too. So I guess you’ll have to find another protégé, because I can’t leave Alex behind.”

  Alex smiled when I said that and scooted a little closer to me. I looked at Aunt Perrine defiantly, thinking that she would say no. There could be only one monster hunter. That was the way it had always been. I expected her to be mad or at least disappointed.

  “Good,” she said. “You are a smart boy and both of you will be good ’elps to me. Tomorrow we wake up early and you will learn French and in zee evening, if you work ’ard, I will show you zee book.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I mean you will both learn from me and you will both take over when I am gone,” she said.

  “But…I thought there could only be one monster hunter,” I said.

  “Why would you zink zat?” Aunt Perrine asked.

  “Eleanor said that there could be only one,” I said.

  “Just because there ’as always been one does not mean we cannot change. You two need each other. You vill be better together,” Aunt Perrine said.

  “Thank you,” Alex and I said together.

  That night Aunt Perrine popped popcorn and we all sat on her old couch and watched movies. We were an odd family. Uno, Roger, Eleanor, Alex, Aunt Perrine, and I, didn’t look anything like a family should, but as we sat on the couch laughing I knew it was more important to feel like a family than to look like one. Alex sat by Aunt Perrine and she put her arm around him and I sat by Alex.

  The sun set and the world was quiet. Alex and I had come home.

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